I finally knew someone who could recommend an instructor. And… I put off asking for that contact for another two years!
I teach Pilates and stretching. You would think I, of all people, would know the benefits of regular exercise. But I am human, just like you.
One trainer’s story: years of finding the perfect excuses
I had wanted to try pole dance for a long time. That wish stayed with me for years. And do you know what I did? Nothing. Instead, my brain was very good at finding excuses for why “now isn’t the right time”:
- “My work is already very physical.” My workload really is demanding, so another tough workout seemed too exhausting.
- “I’m an introvert.” I felt resistance just thinking about a group class.
- “What if the instructor isn’t right for me?” Finding a good professional is difficult enough. Living abroad in a small Portuguese town, finding a Russian-speaking instructor too felt like mission impossible.
- The fear of making a fool of myself. A common trap for experts. An experienced trainer starts a new activity from scratch - and feels awkward? “I’ve never done this. I don’t know anything, and I’ll be embarrassed. How can I be a trainer and look inexperienced?”
One day, a client came to my class who had started pole dance and added Pilates to become stronger. She was actually taking steps towards her goal and had even bought a pole for her home. That little seed of a dream stirred in my head again.
It is strange: I am always reminding clients that you can be an expert in your own field and still learn everything else from scratch, just as you once learned to talk or walk. Every skill takes time. Yet applying that rule to myself turned out to be the hardest part.
A reset: how making a decision clears some space in your head
The turning point came during a trip to my home country. Two busy, active weeks, a different pace of life and the feeling of being at home brought back my desire to live fully. That was when I made a firm decision: as soon as I returned home to Portugal, I would go to pole dance.
I contacted the instructor. There were no slots available for private lessons - only the group class I had spent so long avoiding. But I had made my decision! So I was going to see it through.
After the first class, I was absolutely delighted. It was hard, and I was doing everything for the first time, awkwardly, but I enjoyed it enormously. Afterwards, my husband jokingly protested: “How can you go to a one-hour class and talk about it for three hours?”
That was dopamine for my brain! An unfinished goal had been taking up space in my head for years. Now it felt like closing the extra tabs on a computer and watching it run faster straight away. There was room for new ideas. And, incidentally, my brain has already found another similar goal. I still do not know how long I will put that one off, or whether I will make it happen at all.
Yes, sometimes you start moving first and make the decision along the way. Often it catches up later, after you make that very first choice.
Why we put off change
You probably recognise this scenario. A new fitness outfit, stylish trainers, perhaps even a gym membership or a mat for home that is quietly gathering dust in the corner. We understand how movement benefits our health, yet we put off starting for weeks, months or even years.
Most people think they lack motivation. Then discipline enters the picture. It matters for long-term results, but something else often gets that first real change going.
We tend to think it is laziness or a lack of inspiration. But psychological literature offers another explanation: the fear of success and of having to maintain the result. People are subconsciously afraid: “What if I reach this goal? I’ll have to keep it up for the rest of my life! It will change the life I’m used to, bring more responsibility, and what am I supposed to do then?”
But a real beginning starts with making one decision, rather than thinking about an uncertain future.
In their book Procrastination, Jane B. Burka and Lenora M. Yuen describe how our minds create an illusion of readiness. Until we draw a line and make a final decision within ourselves, nothing gets off the ground. We can prepare endlessly, read and buy equipment, but that is only an imitation of action.
What motivates me every day and why it is worth starting now
Once you make a decision, you begin to notice new sources of motivation around you. Here is what inspires me.
I look at my grandmother, and then at women her age who come to my classes. My older clients who exercise regularly look younger and are more active, cheerful and full of energy! They are living examples of how different life can look.
I am also inspired by clients going through rehabilitation. Like children, they start at the very beginning, rebuilding their bodies step by step, and then achieve remarkable results. To me, that says one thing: it is never too late to begin. But the sooner you start, the easier the journey will be - youth is an advantage. Starting from zero is easier than rebuilding from far below it.
My grandmother has started exercising too. There are moments when she really wants to give it all up. But she keeps doing at least a little. That is what a firm decision looks like: it helps you stay on the path even when the initial enthusiasm disappears.
A step-by-step plan: how to help your mind decide and begin
If you feel stuck, try these steps to ease yourself towards a start:
- Stop blaming yourself. Do not punish yourself for a lack of motivation or try to force yourself into action. The more pressure you apply, the further the goal gets pushed into a hidden cupboard.
- Take one easy first step. Watch a video about the activity, read a little or talk to someone. Let your mind get used to the idea without any obligations.
- Be honest about your “why”. What do you want this for, and why did the idea occur to you? Is it something you feel you should want, or something you really want?
- Find real examples that inspire you. Look at how active older people live.
- Make your decision concrete. When you feel that inner “yes”, message an instructor, book a trial class for the earliest possible date or put a workout in your calendar. Not “some Monday”.
- Keep a minimum going when things are difficult. If you want to give everything up, like my grandmother, do at least one small thing. A firm decision does not demand perfection every day - it helps you stay on your chosen path.
- Look for ways to act on your decision. If you have put off exercise for years because it is “too expensive” or you have no time, return to your “why”. For me, deciding gave me the push to contact the instructor and join the group I had been avoiding. Try to find a time and a type of session you can start with now.
Ready to take your first step?
If you have already made your decision and want a clear structure to help you bring exercise into your daily routine, I have thought about that too.
I have a course I created, especially for people with a sedentary lifestyle. We begin with simple little things, such as easy five-minute sessions during the working day. Step by step, without excessive loads or unnecessary stress.
And if you feel more comfortable working one to one, we can choose individual sessions. Get in touch with me, and we will find an option that fits your pace of life!
